Abigail Elizabeth Brandt was born at 8 p.m. on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 at United & Children's Hospital in St. Paul, Minnesota.  She instantly became her Daddy's little girl when moments after her birth he said "Hello Sweetheart" and she wrapped her tiny fingers around his hand.  Abigail was born at 25 weeks 1 day gestational age.  She weighed one pound eleven and a half ounces. She was the second born of our twins.  Noah, her brother, was born two minutes earlier.  Both Abigail and Noah were doing extremely well for their gestational age, but two days later became sick with Respiratory Distress Syndrome very quickly.  Abigail became sick soon after her brother.  A minute after he died, her stats plummetted and she died in her Mommy's arms less than an hour after her brother. She wanted to be with her brother.   

"My First Christmas in Heaven"


I see the countless Christmas trees
around the world below
with tiny lights, like Heaven's stars
reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular.
Please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you,
the joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description,
to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away
We really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones,
You know I hold you dear,
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift,
from my heavenly home above,
of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift
more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important
In the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other,
as my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessing or the love
He has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and
wipe away that tear.
Remember, I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.....

I didn’t know what to expect,
The first time I saw your face
But I fell in love with you instantly.
No one will ever take your place.

Some children come into our lives and go quickly.

Some children come into our lives and stay awhile.

All of our children come into our lives and leave footprints-

Some oh, so small;
Some a little larger,
Some larger still,

But all have left their footprints
On our lives; in our hearts,

And we will never - never -
Be the same.

“I prayed for this child and the Lord answered my prayers and gave her to me. Now, I dedicate her to the Lord. She will belong to the Lord all her life.”   -Samuel 1:27-28


A Mother’s Crown


Heaven lit up with His mighty presence,
As all the Angels looked down,
Today the Lord was placing the jewels,
In all the mother's crowns.
As He held up a golden crown,
As all the mother's looked on,
He said in His gentle voice,
"I just want to explain each stone".
He held the first gem in His hand
But the radiance couldn't match His own.
For He was the light of Heaven,
Reflecting off each of the stones.
"The first gem," He said, "is an emerald,
And it's for endurance alone,
For all the nights you waited up.
For your children to come home.
For all the nights by their bedside,
You stayed till the fever went down,
For nursing every little wound,
I add this emerald to your crown."
"A ruby, I'll place by the emerald,
For leading your child in the right way,
For if you hadn't taught them about me,
They wouldn't be here with you today.
For always being right there,
Thru all life's important events,
I give you a sapphire stone,
For the time and love you spent."
"For untying the strings that held them,
When they grew up and left home,
I give you this one for courage."
Then the Lord added an amethyst stone.
"I'll place a stone of garnet," He said,
"For all the times you spent on your knees,
When you asked me to take care of your children,
And them for having faith in me."
"I have a pearl for every little sacrifice,
That you made without them knowing,
For all the times you went without,
To keep them happy, healthy, and growing."
"And last of all I have a diamond,
The greatest of all gems,
For those mother's who lost their children,
When they came home to heaven before them."
"This is the most precious sacrifice,
So I give the most precious stone,
For I know just how you felt,
I too lost a child of my own."
After the Lord placed the last jewel in,
He said, "Heaven is now complete,
For every mother has her crown of jewels,
And all her children are at her feet."

Infants Remembered in Silence - Golf Tournament & Butterfly Release - July 13, 2007 Faribault Country Club

A Butterfly Release
By Jill Haley

As you release this butterfly in honor of me,
know that I'm with you and will always be.
Hold a hand, say a prayer, close your eyes and see me there.
Although you may feel a bit torn apart,
please know that I'll be forever in your heart.

Now fly away butterfly as high as you can go,
I'm right there with you more than you know.







A Memorial Garden Stone was created for Abigail and her brother Noah. We placed the stones on the memorial green and released our butterflies nearby after the golf tournament.* Abigail has a twin brother who died on the same day. Please visit his memorial Web site at noah-brandt.memory-of.com

January 31, 2007

Dear Sweet Abigail and Precious Noah,

M: Mommy and Daddy cannot believe that you are gone. Last night as we held you for the last time, we knew that the next time we would be together would be in heaven. You are both so beautiful and we cherished every moment we had with you - from the time we knew we were pregnant until the moment we said goodbye and told you how much you were loved last night. We will continue to cherish and treasure the memories we have made as a family in such a short time and the imprint of your lives is sketched deep into our hearts.

D: Sweet babies, you were the perfect manifestation of the love your Mommy and I have for one another - a love that is strong, unconditional and without end. When we looked at you, your sweet innocence shined through for the world to see - an innocence that rarely comes along in life and rarely lasts - an innocence that stirs the spirit of our souls and has the power to change lives.

M: Sweet, Noah, you were the first to arrive and you made your Daddy and I so very happy to finally be a family. Your Daddy saw you first, but when I looked at you for the first time, my soul was filled with joy and pride. My son, you became my world. I would do anything for you. I couldn't wait for the opportunity to hold your tiny fingers, kiss your sweet toes, sing lullabies to you as I rocked you to sleep and be there as you grew. I wanted to teach you about Jesus and watch you grow into a man. The dreams I had for you will never come to pass on this earth, but they have not changed. Someday, I will join you in heaven and finally be able to fulfill my dreams.

D: I've always wanted a son. I learned about the relationship a father and son could have from my relationship with my father. I wanted that for us as well. I remember telling you as you lay in the NICU, that you just had to get better, so you could grow stronger and we could one day play catch in the backyard. Oh Noah, I had so many dreams for your precious life. I wanted you to see the vistas of a mountaintop and hear the roaring of the ocean. I wanted you to be able to smell fresh budding roses in springtime. In all, I wanted you to experience a full life filled with love and happiness. I wanted you to be an example for others and accomplish great things. I wanted to be there to support you in pursuing your every interest. Most of all I wanted to spend time with you, because one of the most precious gifts we have is our gift of time. Time is never as much as you want it to be, and our time together was cut way too short. I could never have enough moments with you. Noah, you made your Mommy and I realize how precious the smallest moments can be and how important it is to be fully present in each moment spent with one you love.

M: Precious Abigail, you were the second child born to your Daddy and I. We were so thrilled. We finally had a daughter. While I lay in recover, you and Daddy bonded when you grabbed hold of his fingers and instantly became Daddy's little girl, but you were mine as well. I had spent months preparing to have a baby daughter. I loved buying little outfits - complete with hats and booties - all in pink of course. Many nights were spent imagining the things we would do together as a mother and daughter - from tea parties and Barbie dolls to shopping and late night chats. I wanted you to grow up and watch you have babies of your own. I wanted the world for you - but the world had you for only two days. You made a difference - Abigail. Although I know you are safe in the arms of Jesus, I miss you desperately. Like I told your brother, wait for me. My dream now is to live a good life so that one day when God calls my name, my soul will be ready to join you and your brother and be the mother I so desperately wanted to be for each of you.

D: Sweetheart, you were the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. Your face had a gentle softeness and your presence made a room glow. I had dreams for you from the first time I touched your little fingers and I knew my life was forever changed. I wanted to do the very best I could for you. I wanted to change your first diaper and have you wake me up in the middle of the night. I wanted to watch you get puppy kisses from our dogs and see your first steps. I wanted to hear you say Daddy for the first time. As you grew into a women, I wanted to teach you to drive, scare away any boyfriends that came to take you out on a date and take your hand as I walked you down the aisle. I have so many thoughts running through my mind, wondering who you'd become and what you'd accomplish, who you would grow to love and whose lives you would touch. Well, sweet Abigail, you have touched Mommy's and my life in a way you could never know.

M: Abigail and Noah, you are so loved. When Daddy and I looked at you for the first time our hearts melted and we became better people. Your lives made a difference. In the last few days many people have asked what they can do to help. My usual response is, there is nothing. As I lay awake thinking of this, I am wrong. There is something important each one of us can do. We can take time to honor your lives by learning from you both, my sweet Abigail and Precious Noah.

D: Abigail and Noah, you taught us to cherish each moment. Every moment with you was a gift from God. As sad as we are, we thank God for the opportunity to meet you, our precious son and daughter. We thank God for the memories we are able to create and carry with us as we go forward in our lives without you.

M: Unconditional love is what your Daddy and I felt the first time we looked into your sweet faces. We would do anything to protect you and we would die for you in an instant to keep you safe. You became our world. Rest safe in the unconditional love Daddy and I and that your Father in heaven hold deep in our hearts as we think of you our Precious Noah and Abigail.

D: Dear Babies, you changed our hearts and inspired us to be better people. We want you to be proud of us. We want to make our lives count. Our mission as a family will be to help others, perhaps in time, to help others who have lost a baby or a child. We want to stand worthy one day in front of God so that we can run to hold you each again.

M: So when friends and family members ask what they can do to help. Noah and Abigail, here is what your Daddy and I will tell them. Learn the lessons our children taught us - cherish your families and your children, love unconditionally and be inspired to make a difference in the lives of others. If they do this, they honor the lives of both of you - my sweet Abigail and precious Noah.

D: Abigail and Noah, we already miss you desperately. There is an emptiness in our hearts that is deep and aching. Please know that we will never forget that were our first and second born son and daughter.

M: Our lives will be spent honoring you and waiting for the day when we can join you both in heaven. You are forever loved.

Love Always,
Mommy & Daddy

(As read at Abigail and Noah's by Mommy and Daddy - Our promise to you both will live on forever.)

*Please visit these other Web sites that are other infant memorials & resources that have been especially meaningful. 

kilian-donahue.memory-of.com

www.irisremembers.org

home.mend.org

www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org

SHARE Retreat - St. Louis, Misssouri

On July 19-22 Eric and I attended the SHARE retreat in St. Louis, Missouri.  SHARE is a national organization that is dedicated to helping families who have endured pregnancy and/or infant loss.  We met wonderful people at the retreat, all of who understand how very important it is to talk about our sweet Abigail and Noah.  We were also priveleged to be part of a beautiful remembrance service at the Angel of Hope statue in St. Charles, Missouri.  The Angel of Hope is dedicated to all parents who have lost a child.  We placed white flowers at the base of the statue in remembrance of Abby and Noah.  

To The Child In My Heart
O precious, tiny, sweet little one
You will always be to me
So perfect, pure, and innocent
Just as you were meant to be.
We dreamed of you and of your life
And all that it would be
We waited and longed for you to come
And join our family.
We never had the chance to play,
To laugh, to rock, to wiggle.
We long to hold you, touch you now
And listen to you giggle.
I'll always be your mother.
He'll always be your dad.
You will always be our child,
The child that we had.
But now you're gone...but yet you're here.
We'll sense you everywhere.
You are our sorrow and our joy
There's love in every tear.
Just know our love goes deep and strong.
We'll forget you never -
The child we had, but never had,
And yet will have forever.
- Author: Carol Parrott