Memorial website in the memory of your loved one

Abigail Elizabeth Brandt was born at 8 p.m. on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 at United & Children's Hospital in St. Paul, Minnesota.  She instantly became her Daddy's little girl when moments after her birth he said "Hello Sweetheart" and she wrapped her tiny fingers around his hand.  Abigail was born at 25 weeks 1 day gestational age.  She weighed one pound eleven and a half ounces. She was the second born of our twins.  Noah, her brother, was born two minutes earlier.  Both Abigail and Noah were doing extremely well for their gestational age, but two days later became sick with Respiratory Distress Syndrome very quickly.  Abigail became sick soon after her brother.  A minute after he died, her stats plummetted and she died in her Mommy's arms less than an hour after her brother. She wanted to be with her brother.   


Her Daddy and I published this site as a remembrance of Abigail and a remembrance of the many ways she has made a difference to the world even in the short number of hours she lived on this Earth. Abigail, you will always be loved and remembered!

 

 



 Abigail's & Noah's Christmas Random Acts of Kindess Project

 

Every Christmas season we take time to remember and honor the promise we made to Noah and Abigail – to do good and make a difference for other in their memory! We hope you will once again help us with our “Acts of Kindness” project. Last Christmas would have been unbearable had it not been for Abby and Noah’s stockings filled to the brim with the kid deeds done for others in their memory. We are so thankful for the two days we had with Abby and Noah, although they are still missed, we are able to talk about our memories of them and smile. Your letter and kind deeds gave us an opportunity to talk not just of the sadness, but of the joy that Noah and Abigail brought to our lives. Thank you so much!

Eric and I have decided that this project of completing “Acts of Kindness” will be a tradition we will do every Christmas season in memory of our children. If you would like to participate just do a kind deed for someone and write a letter or note addressed to Abby and Noah Stocking. Send them to us using the contact information below. The notes will be place in their stocking and then opened Christmas morning. It has meant so much to both Eric and I to have your support through out the last couple of years as we try to keep Abby and Noah’s memory alive. We also hope that by doing “Acts of Kindness” you will received a gift as well – for it is our true belief that in giving you receive much more than you give.

Below is a sampling of the many kind deeds done in memory of Abby and Noah.

Cash donations where given to Infants Remembered In Silence (IRIS), homeless pet programs, local food shelves, CROSS, Food for the Poor, St. Jude’s research hospital, First Book, Toys for Tots, Salvation Army buckets, March of Dimes, children’s miracle network, sponsorship of an Indian orphanage, church, giving money for school lunches for a family struggling with bills.

Other wonderful “Acts of Kindness” include giving a pair of mitten to a little boy on the playground that had none on a cold winter day, packing food for Feed My Starving Children, sponsoring a family – provided gifts for a single mom and her son, sponsoring children through the Giving Tree, passing by the “good” parking spot leaving it for the next car during peek shopping time, buying lunch for the person in back of you at the drive through of a restaurant, carrying an elderly women’s bags to the car, helping a friend from work get to the doctor and being there when the diagnosis come back as cancer, being Santa Clause for a local elementary students, donating hair to locks of love, sitting/visiting with the elderly, helping a fellow teacher during her breaks from school, opening countless doors for strangers, provided childbirth classes for two mother who couldn’t afford them, making an effort to say hello to every person met on the street or in the store, making cookies and giving them to those who don’t do any baking, typing recipes for a lady who wanted to make a keepsake cookbook for her grandchildren, making something for a friend when buying something would have been simpler, and transporting a friend’s children all week long.

Friends, thank you for helping us – if you think this list was amazing – the letters you wrote us brought us such joy in knowing that Abby and Noah’s life will have served a great purpose and made a huge difference in our world. We love you all for your support and we hope you will take some time to help us again this year and every year as we take a few moments out of the busy holiday season and remember Abigail and Noah.


 

 

I didn’t know what to expect,
The first time I saw your face
But I fell in love with you instantly.
No one will ever take your place.


Some children come into our lives and go quickly.

Some children come into our lives and stay awhile.

All of our children come into our lives and leave footprints-

Some oh, so small;
Some a little larger,
Some larger still,

But all have left their footprints
On our lives; in our hearts,

And we will never - never -
Be the same.





“I prayed for this child and the Lord answered my prayers and gave her to me. Now, I dedicate her to the Lord. She will belong to the Lord all her life.”   -Samuel 1:27-28


A Mother’s Crown


Heaven lit up with His mighty presence,
As all the Angels looked down,
Today the Lord was placing the jewels,
In all the mother's crowns.
As He held up a golden crown,
As all the mother's looked on,
He said in His gentle voice,
"I just want to explain each stone".
He held the first gem in His hand
But the radiance couldn't match His own.
For He was the light of Heaven,
Reflecting off each of the stones.
"The first gem," He said, "is an emerald,
And it's for endurance alone,
For all the nights you waited up.
For your children to come home.
For all the nights by their bedside,
You stayed till the fever went down,
For nursing every little wound,
I add this emerald to your crown."
"A ruby, I'll place by the emerald,
For leading your child in the right way,
For if you hadn't taught them about me,
They wouldn't be here with you today.
For always being right there,
Thru all life's important events,
I give you a sapphire stone,
For the time and love you spent."
"For untying the strings that held them,
When they grew up and left home,
I give you this one for courage."
Then the Lord added an amethyst stone.
"I'll place a stone of garnet," He said,
"For all the times you spent on your knees,
When you asked me to take care of your children,
And them for having faith in me."
"I have a pearl for every little sacrifice,
That you made without them knowing,
For all the times you went without,
To keep them happy, healthy, and growing."
"And last of all I have a diamond,
The greatest of all gems,
For those mother's who lost their children,
When they came home to heaven before them."
"This is the most precious sacrifice,
So I give the most precious stone,
For I know just how you felt,
I too lost a child of my own."
After the Lord placed the last jewel in,
He said, "Heaven is now complete,
For every mother has her crown of jewels,
And all her children are at her feet."

 






Daddy and Emma Release Balloons at your gravesite

 

October 2010

Remembering the Children
By Holly Graham for her sister


As the strings slip through my hand,
I think of the beauty you brought to this land.
I watch as the balloons float away,
Just like when you left me that day.
They float into a beautiful cloud,
I hear you laughing, loud and proud.
A balloon sent up to the heavens above,
Carrying a note from me with love.
The life you lived celebrated this day,
That is what the balloons are meant to say.
Receive the balloons with gentle care,
They symbolize the love that is still there.
Balloons, we release you to float away,
Make sure you get to our children this special day.
We release you into the sky,
We watch you float, we watch you fly,
Children so dear,
Catch these balloons on this bittersweet day,
Read the notes and then go and play.
Keep us in your hearts,
You may be gone but we shall not part.
So float in the heavens and play in the clouds,
We are releasing balloons from our hearts,
Because we are so proud.




Infants Remembered in Silence - Golf Tournament & Butterfly Release - July 13, 2007 Faribault Country Club

 

A Butterfly Release
By Jill Haley

As you release this butterfly in honor of me,
know that I'm with you and will always be.
Hold a hand, say a prayer, close your eyes and see me there.
Although you may feel a bit torn apart,
please know that I'll be forever in your heart.

Now fly away butterfly as high as you can go,
I'm right there with you more than you know.







A Memorial Garden Stone was created for Abigail and her brother Noah. We placed the stones on the memorial green and released our butterflies nearby after the golf tournament.
* Abigail has a twin brother who died on the same day. Please visit his memorial Web site at noah-brandt.memory-of.com

 



January 31, 2007

Dear Sweet Abigail and Precious Noah,

M: Mommy and Daddy cannot believe that you are gone. Last night as we held you for the last time, we knew that the next time we would be together would be in heaven. You are both so beautiful and we cherished every moment we had with you - from the time we knew we were pregnant until the moment we said goodbye and told you how much you were loved last night. We will continue to cherish and treasure the memories we have made as a family in such a short time and the imprint of your lives is sketched deep into our hearts.

D: Sweet babies, you were the perfect manifestation of the love your Mommy and I have for one another - a love that is strong, unconditional and without end. When we looked at you, your sweet innocence shined through for the world to see - an innocence that rarely comes along in life and rarely lasts - an innocence that stirs the spirit of our souls and has the power to change lives.

M: Sweet, Noah, you were the first to arrive and you made your Daddy and I so very happy to finally be a family. Your Daddy saw you first, but when I looked at you for the first time, my soul was filled with joy and pride. My son, you became my world. I would do anything for you. I couldn't wait for the opportunity to hold your tiny fingers, kiss your sweet toes, sing lullabies to you as I rocked you to sleep and be there as you grew. I wanted to teach you about Jesus and watch you grow into a man. The dreams I had for you will never come to pass on this earth, but they have not changed. Someday, I will join you in heaven and finally be able to fulfill my dreams.

D: I've always wanted a son. I learned about the relationship a father and son could have from my relationship with my father. I wanted that for us as well. I remember telling you as you lay in the NICU, that you just had to get better, so you could grow stronger and we could one day play catch in the backyard. Oh Noah, I had so many dreams for your precious life. I wanted you to see the vistas of a mountaintop and hear the roaring of the ocean. I wanted you to be able to smell fresh budding roses in springtime. In all, I wanted you to experience a full life filled with love and happiness. I wanted you to be an example for others and accomplish great things. I wanted to be there to support you in pursuing your every interest. Most of all I wanted to spend time with you, because one of the most precious gifts we have is our gift of time. Time is never as much as you want it to be, and our time together was cut way too short. I could never have enough moments with you. Noah, you made your Mommy and I realize how precious the smallest moments can be and how important it is to be fully present in each moment spent with one you love.

M: Precious Abigail, you were the second child born to your Daddy and I. We were so thrilled. We finally had a daughter. While I lay in recover, you and Daddy bonded when you grabbed hold of his fingers and instantly became Daddy's little girl, but you were mine as well. I had spent months preparing to have a baby daughter. I loved buying little outfits - complete with hats and booties - all in pink of course. Many nights were spent imagining the things we would do together as a mother and daughter - from tea parties and Barbie dolls to shopping and late night chats. I wanted you to grow up and watch you have babies of your own. I wanted the world for you - but the world had you for only two days. You made a difference - Abigail. Although I know you are safe in the arms of Jesus, I miss you desperately. Like I told your brother, wait for me. My dream now is to live a good life so that one day when God calls my name, my soul will be ready to join you and your brother and be the mother I so desperately wanted to be for each of you.

D: Sweetheart, you were the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. Your face had a gentle softeness and your presence made a room glow. I had dreams for you from the first time I touched your little fingers and I knew my life was forever changed. I wanted to do the very best I could for you. I wanted to change your first diaper and have you wake me up in the middle of the night. I wanted to watch you get puppy kisses from our dogs and see your first steps. I wanted to hear you say Daddy for the first time. As you grew into a women, I wanted to teach you to drive, scare away any boyfriends that came to take you out on a date and take your hand as I walked you down the aisle. I have so many thoughts running through my mind, wondering who you'd become and what you'd accomplish, who you would grow to love and whose lives you would touch. Well, sweet Abigail, you have touched Mommy's and my life in a way you could never know.

M: Abigail and Noah, you are so loved. When Daddy and I looked at you for the first time our hearts melted and we became better people. Your lives made a difference. In the last few days many people have asked what they can do to help. My usual response is, there is nothing. As I lay awake thinking of this, I am wrong. There is something important each one of us can do. We can take time to honor your lives by learning from you both, my sweet Abigail and Precious Noah.

D: Abigail and Noah, you taught us to cherish each moment. Every moment with you was a gift from God. As sad as we are, we thank God for the opportunity to meet you, our precious son and daughter. We thank God for the memories we are able to create and carry with us as we go forward in our lives without you.

M: Unconditional love is what your Daddy and I felt the first time we looked into your sweet faces. We would do anything to protect you and we would die for you in an instant to keep you safe. You became our world. Rest safe in the unconditional love Daddy and I and that your Father in heaven hold deep in our hearts as we think of you our Precious Noah and Abigail.

D: Dear Babies, you changed our hearts and inspired us to be better people. We want you to be proud of us. We want to make our lives count. Our mission as a family will be to help others, perhaps in time, to help others who have lost a baby or a child. We want to stand worthy one day in front of God so that we can run to hold you each again.

M: So when friends and family members ask what they can do to help. Noah and Abigail, here is what your Daddy and I will tell them. Learn the lessons our children taught us - cherish your families and your children, love unconditionally and be inspired to make a difference in the lives of others. If they do this, they honor the lives of both of you - my sweet Abigail and precious Noah.

D: Abigail and Noah, we already miss you desperately. There is an emptiness in our hearts that is deep and aching. Please know that we will never forget that were our first and second born son and daughter.

M: Our lives will be spent honoring you and waiting for the day when we can join you both in heaven. You are forever loved.

Love Always,
Mommy & Daddy

(As read at Abigail and Noah's by Mommy and Daddy - Our promise to you both will live on forever.)



 




*Please visit these other Web sites that are other infant memorials & resources that have been especially meaningful. 

kilian-donahue.memory-of.com

www.irisremembers.org

home.mend.org

www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org



 

SHARE Retreat - St. Louis, Misssouri

On July 19-22 Eric and I attended the SHARE retreat in St. Louis, Missouri.  SHARE is a national organization that is dedicated to helping families who have endured pregnancy and/or infant loss.  We met wonderful people at the retreat, all of who understand how very important it is to talk about our sweet Abigail and Noah.  We were also priveleged to be part of a beautiful remembrance service at the Angel of Hope statue in St. Charles, Missouri.  The Angel of Hope is dedicated to all parents who have lost a child.  We placed white flowers at the base of the statue in remembrance of Abby and Noah.  













To The Child In My Heart
O precious, tiny, sweet little one
You will always be to me
So perfect, pure, and innocent
Just as you were meant to be.
We dreamed of you and of your life
And all that it would be
We waited and longed for you to come
And join our family.
We never had the chance to play,
To laugh, to rock, to wiggle.
We long to hold you, touch you now
And listen to you giggle.
I'll always be your mother.
He'll always be your dad.
You will always be our child,
The child that we had.
But now you're gone...but yet you're here.
We'll sense you everywhere.
You are our sorrow and our joy
There's love in every tear.
Just know our love goes deep and strong.
We'll forget you never -
The child we had, but never had,
And yet will have forever.
- Author: Carol Parrott

 


 

"My First Christmas in Heaven"


I see the countless Christmas trees
around the world below
with tiny lights, like Heaven's stars
reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular.
Please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you,
the joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description,
to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away
We really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones,
You know I hold you dear,
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift,
from my heavenly home above,
of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift
more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important
In the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other,
as my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessing or the love
He has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and
wipe away that tear.
Remember, I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.....

 

 

Acts of Kindness for Noah and Abigail
Beth & Eric Brandt

This Christmas season we are also taking time to remember and honor the promise we made to Noah and Abigail – to do good and make a difference for other in their memory! We hope you will once again help us with our “Acts of Kindness” project. Last Christmas would have been unbearable had it not been for Abby and Noah’s stockings filled to the brim with the kid deeds done for others in their memory. We are so thankful for the two days we had with Abby and Noah, although they are still missed, we are able to talk about our memories of them and smile. Your letter and kind deeds gave us an opportunity to talk not just of the sadness, but of the joy that Noah and Abigail brought to our lives. Thank you so much!

Eric and I have decided that this project of completing “Acts of Kindness” will be a tradition we will do every Christmas season in memory of our children. If you would like to participate just do a kind deed for someone and write a letter or note addressed to Abby and Noah Stocking. Send them to us using the contact information below. The notes will be place in their stocking and then opened Christmas morning. It has meant so much to both Eric and I to have your support through out the last couple of years as we try to keep Abby and Noah’s memory alive. We also hope that by doing “Acts of Kindness” you will received a gift as well – for it is our true belief that in giving you receive much more than you give.

Below is a sampling of the many kind deeds done in memory of Abby and Noah.

Cash donations where given to Infants Remembered In Silence (IRIS), homeless pet programs, local food shelves, CROSS, food for the poor, St. Jude’s research hospital, first book, Toys for Tots, Salvation Army buckets, March of Dimes, children’s miracle network, sponsorship of an Indian orphanage, church, giving money for school lunches for a family struggling with bills.

Other wonderful “Acts of Kindness” include giving a pair of mitten to a little boy on the playground that had none on a cold winter day, sponsoring a family – provided gifts for a single mom and her son, sponsoring children through the giving tree, passing by the “good” parking spot leaving it for the next car during peek shopping time, buying lunch for the person in back of you at the drive through of a restaurant, carrying an elderly women’s bags to the car, helping a friend from work get to the doctor and being there when the diagnosis come back as cancer, being Santa Clause for a local elementary students, donating hair to locks of love, sitting/visiting with the elderly, helping a fellow teacher during her breaks from school, opening countless doors for strangers, provided childbirth classes for two mother who couldn’t afford them, making an effort to say hello to every person met on the street or in the store, making cookies and giving them to those who don’t do any baking, typing recipes for a lady who wanted to make a keepsake cookbook for her grandchildren, making something for a friend when buying something would have been simpler, and transporting a friend’s children all week long.

Friends, thank you for helping us – if you think this list was amazing – the letters you wrote us brought us such joy in knowing that Abby and Noah’s life will have served a great purpose and made a huge difference in our world. We love you all for your support and we hope you will take some time to help us again this year and every year as we take a few moments out of the busy holiday season and remember Abigail and Noah.

Thank you!

Sincerely
Eric and Beth






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 




Click here to see Abigail Brandt's
Family Tree
Tributes and Condolences
In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness...   / Jolene Roth (Another angel's mom )
Hello~  My husband and I are hosting a memorial walk and fundraiser in Roseville MN on Oktober 10th 2009.  I've been trying to reach out to other bereaved parents in the area to invite to this event.  If you are interested in lear...  Continue >>
Precious Angel!   / Lori Buckel
Merry Christmas!!!
I am so sorry   / Team Warrior~"Princess" Alexandra Myspace.com/alexs_li-fe_fight_survival
What a tragedy...no one should ever have to go through that. I am so sorry. I wanted to find some words on a card That would help to get through it when life gets so hard It seems you can't bear it -perhaps can't go on- When deep in the heart there'...  Continue >>
IRIS Holiday Remembrance Service   / Mommy
Dear Abigail and Noah,Today was the Infants Remembered in Silence Holiday Remembrance Service at the Chapel of the Good Shephard. It was so beautiful. I decorated the chapel window with your pictures, clothes and teddy bears. All the other parents di...  Continue >>
All Souls - Remembrance Service - Transfiguration Church   / Mommy
Dear Abigail,
Tonight Daddy and I went to the Remembrance Mass at Transfiguaration Church. We were invited because we had lost you and your brother in this past year.
The service began by Daddy and I lighting a candle for you and Noah. ...  Continue >>
Soaring With Love Remembrance Service  / Mommy     Read >>
For you precious Abigail  / Lori Mommy 2. Twins Kinsey And Kylee (another angel mom )    Read >>
I'm Very Sorry  / Traci Barnai (mommy 2 angel vanessa )    Read >>
Very sorry for your loss  / Gina Watkins (passing by )    Read >>
A Letter to Abigail  / Gara Scott (Friend)    Read >>
So sorry  / Michelle Blundell (Passer by )    Read >>
I am sorry  / Danielle Feliciotto     Read >>
First Fourth of July  / Mommy     Read >>
Father's Day Poem  / Mommy     Read >>
My sympathy  / Keva     Read >>
More tributes and condolences...
Click here to pay tribute or offer your condolences
Her legacy
Random Acts of Kindness in Memory of Abigail & Noah  

Dear Family and Friends,
This holiday season, we want to take a moment and thank everyone for the amazing amount of support we have received this year.

This year has been a difficult one for our family with the loss of our beloved twins, Abigail and Noah, in January. Three months later we lost Beth's Grandpa Rollie and in September, Eric's Dad, Emil.

Without you, this past year would have been completely impossible. We are asking for your support once more as we try to cope with the loss of our children over what should have been their first Christmas.

At Noah's and Abigail's funeral, we said we knew that there lives made a difference and that we would work hard to be better people and to make a difference in their memory. This Christmas, we are asking our family and friends for help to make a difference in their memory. If you would like to help us honor Abigail and Noah this Christmas, what we are asking is that you perform a random act of kindness in memory of Abigail and Noah sometime before Christmas. This could be anything from carrying an elderly person's groceries to leaving an extra large tip for the waitress to giving a stranger a compliment when it looks like they may be having a hard day. The options are limitless. We are then hoping you will e-mail or pay a tribute on their memorial Web sites entailing the act of kindness that was performed. We will write down all these acts of kindness and place them in Abigail's and Noah's Christmas stockings to be opened on Christmas morning. 

Some might say this year isn't a very "Merry" one. It has certainly been filled with sadness, but it has also been filled with amazing blessings. We were so blessed to have Abigail and Noah - if even for such a short time. We were also blessed to have Beth's Grandpa and Eric's Dad for so many years of wonderful memories.

This Christmas - we are thanking God and celebrating the blessings of our year.  We wish you all a very peaceful and Merry Christmas!

With All Of Our Love,
Eric & Beth Brandt
Noah, Abigail, Faith, Hope, and Grace

Remembering Abby on her due date  
Abigail and Noah's due date was May 8, 2007. To honor them on that day, our families met at the gravesite and we did a balloon release in their honor. We sent off about 32 blue and pink balloons, each with a tag that asked that if the balloon was found, to please contact us. The day after the release we received our first message from a man in West St. Paul who had found the balloon about 7 blocks from the Mississippi River. He said he had been having a good day and had also found a nest with baby bird eggs inside. The following day, we received a call from a man in St. Paul, Minnesota. He had found a balloon in his yard and was honoring our wishes to let us know it had been found.
After the balloon release we ate angel food cake in honor of you both - my little angels.


March of Dimes Walk - May 5, 2007  

MARCH OF DIMES WALK - MAY 5, 2007
Noah and Abigail were the Ambassador children for Faribault's 2007 March of Dimes Walk. Their cousin, Justin, was also an ambassador for the walk.
The story of our twins was featured in the Faribault Daily News. Our team Abby's and Noah's Team raised about $1000 to help prevent premature birth from happening to other families.


The Story of Noah and Abigail:


My husband and I had been trying to have a baby for the past six years. During those years, we struggled through three miscarriages and infertility treatments. Finally, in August of 2006 we became pregnant. Five days later, I began to bleed. Panicking, I went in for my first ultrasound. At the ultrasound I learned I had a hemorrhage that would require weeks of bed rest, but I also learned I was carrying twins and that they both had a strong heartbeat.
Nine weeks later, I was able to return to work and my pregnancy continued to progress. I felt the first movements and I learned I would be having a little boy and a little girl. I began to shop for baby clothes and bought furniture for the nursery. At 24 weeks, I went in for a level II ultrasound and everything looked great. Two days later, everything changed.
I went to work that day and felt tired and a bit uncomfortable, but I was carrying twins. Tiredness and pressure were not uncommon. That night, I got home from work and realized that I was having pains. They felt like gas pains, but they were coming every few minutes. I had just begun a class on “Expecting Multiples” and had learned to feel my stomach for contractions. I did not feel anything. I called the doctor to be certain, and he said I could go to St. John’s Hospital in Maplewood for a check, but it was probably nothing. I really believed I was just having an overactive imagination.
I arrived at St. John’s and they hooked me to a fetal monitor that would indicate if I was having contractions. The nurse confirmed that I was indeed having contractions and in fact they were coming every three minutes. She then did an internal exam and called for help. I asked her what was wrong. In fact, I asked several times before she told me that I was four centimeters dilated with a bulging bag of water.
I have never been so terrified in my life. I was told I would be sent immediately by ambulance to United Hospital in St. Paul, where they had the best NICU in the state. I was told they were giving me steroids to stop my labor. I was also given shots to mature my babies’ lungs.
I arrived at United Hospital and they were able to stop my labor. I was told this does happen to some women and that the goal was to buy me as much time as possible. At 24 weeks my babies had a decent chance of survival, but it would be difficult. I laid on bed rest at United for 6 days. I was unable to sit up to eat or even to go to the bathroom. I had to lay on my left side. My entire body ached from laying so still the entire day.
At 25 weeks, 1 day, I had another exam only to learn that I was leaking amniotic fluid from Twin A (Noah). The doctor still thought we could buy a few days as I wasn’t having contractions. Later that evening on January 24, I suddenly began having pains again. Within a half an hour I quickly went from 4 to 10 centimeters dilated. I was screaming at the nurse to take me to Labor and Delivery and my water was breaking as they wheeled me down the hallway. I was wheeled into the operating room and put under general anesthesia for a Caesarean section. At 7:58 I became a mother when Noah Roland Emil was born. Two minutes later Abigail Elizabeth was born.
When I awoke I found my husband Eric standing over me - eager to tell me about our twins. They were doing exceptionally well. The doctors were very happy and the prognosis for both twins was very good. Abigail weighed 1 pound 11.5 ounces and Noah weighed 1 pound 12.5 ounces.
About 31 hours later, just after midnight on the 26th of January, my husband went to check in with the twins. They had been fine at 10 p.m., but when he arrived this time their stats weren’t as good. He soon called me because Noah was getting worse and it wasn’t looking good. I immediately got out of bed and began walking to the NICU. By the time, I arrived both Noah and Abigail were not doing well. Abigail soon began to respond to treatment, but we were told Noah was dying. I couldn’t believe what was happening. From excellent to dying - how could this be. I asked that they take him off the ventilator and place him in my arms. If he was going to die, I wanted him to be at peace in his Mother’s arms. One minute after Noah died, Abigail’s stats plummeted. Again, I was told my child was going to die. Abigail was then placed in my arms and I held her as she drew her last breaths. She died within one hour of Noah.
My children meant the world to me - and I had them for just two days. My hopes and dreams for their lives will go unfilled. I come home every night to an empty nursery. Although, I would do it all over to again have those two days with my children, the trauma of losing my twins is something I will never forget.
The death certificate reads Respiratory Distress Syndrome due to Extreme Pre-maturity. I also believe that Abigail just couldn’t live without her brother. Several doctors at the hospital believe the same as the situation seemed so unbelievable.
Having my sweet babies was the best thing that has every happened in my life, but losing my children was the most horrific. I am supporting the March of Dimes because I do not want anyone else to ever experience the trauma of losing a child to pre-maturity. I promised my children on the day we buried them that I would spend my life doing things to cherish their memory and to make a difference in their name. If my story and my support of the March of Dimes can make a difference in the lives of one woman, it is well worth all the time and effort I have placed into this mission. I deserved my 40 weeks of pregnancy - and Abigail and Noah deserved a chance to live their lives.


May 5, 2007 

Hi Darling Babies,
Today, Daddy and I did the March of Dimes walk in your honor. You were both Ambassadors for this year's walk along with your cousin Justin. I told the radio station and the newspaper and all the walkers how much you both meant to me and how I never want pre-maturity to cause the death of another child. I placed your baby shoes at your gravesite. I so wish you were here to wear them. I love and miss you both so much. 

Love, 
Mommy

 
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Abigail
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